All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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