you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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