hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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