Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
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