i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
