She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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