It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think people are normalizing furries
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
