you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
