im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
