WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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