gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So squirting runs in the family.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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