Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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