And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
