Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
