i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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