"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
