We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
