We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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