When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
