Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
