i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
