After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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