im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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