I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
