I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
