Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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