You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
