He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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