my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
