He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
