So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
