Swine flu. Run for my life!
honey bunches of taint.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Randomize
