Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
