Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
