i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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