Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
