How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
