Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
