erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
babies were throwing up all over the place
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
