you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
