And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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