the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
