She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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