so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
