Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
