Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
