the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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