It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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