hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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