as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
