i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
