dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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