i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
