thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize