dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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