dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
