Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
