absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
