it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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