this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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