Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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