By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
